


Anyone's Call

by Stakhanov



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 07:35:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15925817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stakhanov/pseuds/Stakhanov
Summary: A short story about Dan and Phil having a fateful late night conversation. Will change transform them?~word count: about 2kThis is my very first try at writing anything creative since high school and it's in a foreign language. So I have some good excuses to suck ok. I hope you like it, all feedback is appreciated!(btw I don't think Dan and Phil are actually a romantic couple but a boy can dream)





	Anyone's Call

"This is no way to end this story". Dan felt a familiar sting pierce his body. A pain that gripped his stomach and choked his throat yet didn't seem to have a clear source.   
He figured it was just his mind panicking, curled the corners of his mouth and forced the smallest of grins. This vague sense of malaise was growing stronger every day.  
"What, you don't like this ending for Free?" Phil gave him a quizzing look. "The show has run for five seasons, it had to come to a close at some point. I think it's better they wrap up the story now, before the long slide into mediocrity happens. Didn't you like the ending?"  
"Quit while you're ahead, right?" Dan tried to conceal the bitterness in his voice, but he never was one to camouflage well when emotions set his heart on fire.  
A silence settled into the room as the final credits rolled off the screen, announcing the end of their all night anime marathon.  
"Dan. Are you ok?" The curiosity in Phil's eyes had made room for concern. "Why have I got the sense you're not talking about the show?"

It was such a casual, non-assuming question. A polite request to speak his mind expressing a deep care for his well-being, as Phil always had. An invitation for honesty.   
Dan tried to shake it off. "Shut up Dr. Phil. You're not even a real doctor. Besides..."  
But the pain came back, stronger than before. A sudden rush of emotions clogged his speech. Memories buried deep within his soul were starting to well up. Ten years of his life were being condensed in a vivid stream of images as he tried to articulate what he felt. He deeply connected to Phil when he still was just a nobody teen, recovering from years of social ostracization and going through a traumatic break up. Their story, though often misunderstood as a romance, felt every bit as bold and special as any fairy love tale he knew.  
So why did it feel impossible to move on with his life now? Why did it feel like he hadn't fully lived his own truth with Phil? Why did all of it feel like a betrayal? Sure, they became the best of friends. He moved in with Phil the moment he could and they built a spectacular career together. One which none of them dreamed possible at first. They traveled the world together. Dan had banked on his support endlessly. On the good, the bad, and the plain ugly days. Until he had transformed himself, piece by piece, to become the man he was today.   
They had shared so much of their life together.  
Dan decided there was no time to talk falsely now. The hour was getting late.  
"Besides... the show isn't the only thing that's ending before it goes to shit right?   
We are ending too."  
Phil's face fell into a pensive fold. He spoke calmly, but it was easy to hear Dan's observations were cutting right through his heart. The air felt pregnant with tension. 

"We are not ending, Dan. We're just moving to different places, barely a mile apart. We've had this idea for years. You wanted to jump ship right after Interactive Introverts remember? You said so yourself and we agreed that it was time we got our own space after we wound down our Youtube channels. I have gotten tired of doing the same damn thing forever." 

An odd mix of cheeriness and tristesse crept into Phil's voice.

"Look I think we both were looking for new challenges so we waved our dear audiences goodbye. They've been good to us. It's only our Youtube channels after all. We're doing so much media work together there's arguably more content for them, and maybe we can finally get to organizing and enjoying our lives some more."

Dan sighed. Leave it to Phil to focus on the positive elements. He was absolutely right about the facts of course. This wasn't some impulsive move, they both wanted this and had talked about all of it at length. Their huge popularity had given them financial freedom, but they increasingly felt creatively unfulfilled and had to make the choice to either grow old on Youtube as an inseparable duo or take a new path as individuals.  
"I know we're not putting an ocean between us. But we've lived together ... for so damn long." Dan fought the lump in his throat as he tried to give his voice some consistency. "Don't you think this is going to change our friendship?"   
Neither the warm pajama's nor the oversized quill they had wrapped themselves in could stop the shivers from traveling up Phil's spine.  
"Not that much. Only if we let it, right?"  
"Yea.."  
"Yeeee!"   
Dan chuckled. "Oh go fuck yourself, I'm trying to have a moment here. This is basically our whole adult lives we're talking about. Just look around in this place. It's a burial tomb filled with relics of our life. A shrine to every single thing we did and to all that we've accomplished. My house is going to feel so empty. What am I even going to do with all that cereal in the minimalist kitchen of my new loft?"  
"Joke's on you Dannie boy I'm bringing my laundry to your fabulous loft at least once a week, so you better hide all the underwear and panties of your future lovers when I'm coming!"  
"You know what I think I'll just film your dirty underwear and upload it as salvaged Pinof bonus material, with some cherry lube in the background to boot!"  
"You insufferable edgelord you really haven't changed an ounce from when I met you. I should have just eaten you. Like a mighty lion that's devouring a meek llama. I'll start with the hat". Phil let out his best roar, but the king of the jungle sounded a bit melancholic tonight.  
"Your mom is the only thing that's getting devoured in my nicely decorated loft !"   
Dan tried making a silly noise with his throat, but the tears were burning behind his eyes.   
He was going to miss their daily banter. So fucking much.   
"It's probably the only living thing that'll ever set foot in there. Have you even tried flirting to any human since you broke up with Erin? I mean without getting paid by Tinder to so."  
"Well who says I dig humans? I'm much more into robots like you Phil. How could I forget you're such a bleeding Romeo?"

"Hey my Planet Romeo profile is strictly confidential."  
"Yes and you haven't used it for over ten years."  
"Well mister Howell maybe you can send me a message and I will take a look." 

Phil was trying to sound light hearted but the truth was that this evening's blows had utterly destroyed his usually impeccable armor. He preferred to keep things clean. As a public figure first and foremost, but also in private. He just liked to keep some reserve. That included leaving his past with Dan tidied up when possible, let bygones be bygones. Because what else could hee to do? Life would have been impossibly chaotic if his mood swings were just as violent as Dan's. He needed to be there for him when the genes and circumstances pulled his friend down. Likewise he needed Dan to be there when his own life seemed cold and he could feel so old.  
"I guess", Dan said pensively, "we've just been so occupied with our careers and so distracted by our bread and games that we forgot to look for a prince on a white unicorn."   
Much as Dan wished he could look at the bright side of it, he knew him and Phil had finally reached that crossroads in their lives. What started in 2009, would now come to an end in 2021. Right? Well I haven't really ever given it a chance to grow, said that familiar voice in the back of his mind.  
The heavy emotions of moving out to start a life as single 30-somethings the next week had finally taken them to their breaking point. This was not the kind of rapid change they had anticipated. How could they deal with taking distance when all of their life had revolved around growing closer?  
Dan let his guard down and Phil relaxed as they seeked comfort with each other, holding each other tight just as they had done years and years ago, before their relationship cemented into the friendship they both valued so dearly. It seemed as if they were doing a "last" of everything. A last livestream, a last video, a last time of inviting friends over. And now it had come to one last evening of banting and watching tv togehter in their home.  
Dan slowly turned to Phil and started gently plucking pieces of fabric of Phil's shoulder. Something stirred deep within him when he felt Phil's body turn towards him. The jolt of energy surging through him as their bodies started touching, broke down the last resistance. Doubts and resistance that had slowly been crumbling the last couple of months, as he knew this fateful juncture would come.

"Do you ever wonder what would have become of us if the phannies were right?" Dan tried to coat the question with humor, but he knew none were fooled.   
He tilted his head expecting Phil to look at him like he had lost the plot. Instead Dan was shocked to see tears glistening in Phil's eyes.

"I mean. What if we had chosen differently?", Dan whispered softly. He needed to speak now or regret not having said anything forever.  
Phil put a hand on Dan's chest, confused. For the first time in many years, they were laying next to each other again, unsure of how to proceed.   
Their bodies were yearning for each other. Their eyes were now tightly locked in a desperate attempt to speak without words, to understand each other like they did not care to understand others.   
When Phil spoke, his words reached for a distant but unfinished past. Once again he laid his heart down just as when they had first got to know each other. Once again it revealed sadness, and lingering hope. 

"What good does it do us to revisit ancient history. We made a choice back then. We were both so young and we became so close, so fast. The whole situation felt bewildering and we told ourselves we weren't ready for a relationship. So we devoted ourselves to our other aspirations. We deepened our friendship like few can. We were going to be brothers, weren't we Dan?" 

Dan's eyes filled with pain. "Yes, we were. But we're different people now. Life has changed us. Aren't we the captains of our own ship? Why should we be bound by something we decided when we barely understood ourselves?" 

Phil felt his and Dan's heart racing. He put his body on Dan's whose chest was violently bouncing up and down. He held Dan as tight as he could. Maybe this way he could sync their heartbeat and calm him down because he was at wit's end.

"Do you still feel the same way?"  
Phil's head froze as he recalled the cursed words that scratched his soul more than a decade ago.   
" It was nothing but a pointless fever, you said. We only knew that our fleeting romance scorched our lips and left us sick. I thought I agreed . A beautiful but foolish endeavor. But these words... they now sound so hollow. No, I don't think we understood ourselves. We didn't know what we wanted. Will we ever know what we want?"

In this brief moment of time, all they could see were each other's eyes, full of hope and desire. All they could sense was the soothing warmth of their entwined bodies. And all that mattered was the primordial force that pulled their lips closer.  
Dan felt a powerful sense of relief from the dreaded darkness that had imprisoned him for years. At long last he could utter what his heart had longed to say.

"I was wrong Phil. To dismiss what we had only corroded our hearts. We should love for the beauty of it. We should love what we want. Now kiss me you fool, because I want you."


End file.
